我是自己的造像者,也是孤独的修行者,排除自恋,依然还有鲜活的自我存在,我一直想捕捉到最真实存在的我,但似乎又有无尽的困难,瞬间的感受常常瞬间转变。我活跃的思绪或许因为我孩童时期能够在大自然里尽情的释放天性,在大自然里练就了敢于冒险与尝试,关于我的信仰和艺术的悟性却是我家人影响给我的。有时我的灵感思绪颇多,常常在不经意间就迸发,令我措手不及,一会儿是想表达我的某个幻想状态,一会儿是想借助过去表达我现在的状态,诸如此类吧!这让我既困苦又快乐,我甚至要感谢我的思绪繁多。我不喜欢重复自己,更不喜欢拘泥于过去。
三十岁是个有趣的年纪,我在经历这一个阶段的生活与情感后,内心开始寻找关于绘画的明确答案,寻找岁月带给我的证据,寻找我自己和与我有关的情绪。正如我这次个展一样,这批作品是我这四年来的回忆,它们可以让大家看到关于我对油画的“物质感”和“戏剧感”的独特理解。近几年来我的作品有了本质上的变化,开始探索关于我自己与超现实,尤其是以某种神秘与忧郁,神秘可贵,它可以超凡脱俗,若隐若现的忧郁情怀才是好作品的开始,生活中若没了忧伤,也便找不到好的灵感,或许也是我内心的写照。表现形式和当代性都很重要,当下发生,当下存在。比如我会翻出曾经的老照片,加以绘画处理成我内心世界的某个画面,也可能会幻想我会是谁,当我以我是谁的状态出现的时候,我发现这样的画面具备当代性,且具有不可复制的唯一性。作为具象绘画的艺术家,绘画性的流失,我想挽回一点。
关于我的创作到底是个什么样的界限,目前我自己没有确切的答案,可能需要大家来解读,我的思绪受很多因素影响,我相信这些因素也在暗示着我的某段生活。我不希望我与很多人一样走的太急,我只是想保留自己的生活,然后拼命的记录下它,可还是没有找到此时的我,这也正是我在创作上一直不停寻觅与突破的动力。
我生活在一个人的民国里,叙写着一个人的自传体,此生就为画画而活吧,但愿你们在想到我的时候,是常常传达美好的且又执着于绘画的那个人。
--陈承卫 写于2015年8月22日
Preface
As my own image-maker as well as a lonely gymnosophist. I still have my fresh ego besides narcissism. I have been trying to find my ego of the most real existence, but it seems that there are endless difficulties because my instant feelings usually change instantly. My active mind perhaps owed to the release of my instinct in nature when I was a child, which gave me courage to take risks and attempts. My perception in beliefs and arts comes from my family members. Sometimes, I have quite a lot of inspirations and thoughts in mind, which occur to me accidently out of my expectations. It makes me to express a fanciful mood of mine in an instant, and then my present state on the basis of the past, and so on. This makes me both suffering and joyful, and I am even being grateful for my numerous thoughts I do not like to repeat myself, neither to be stuck in the past.
The age of thirty is a quite interesting age, after experiencing the life and feelings of this age, I started to seek the definite answer about painting, evidences brought by time to me, myself as well as emotions related to me. Just like my personal exhibition this time, these works are my memories in the past four years, and they can bring my distinctive understanding of "material sense" and "drama sense" on oil paintings to everyone. In recent years, my works have essentially changed, and I have been started to explore myself and surrealism in my paintings, especially some kind of mystery and melancholy. Mystery is valuable because it can be otherworldly, and the partly visible melancholy feelings mark a start of good works. If there are no sorrows in life, good inspirations can be found nowhere, which is perhaps the reflection of my mind. Both expression forms and contemporaneity are very important, and things exist simultaneously with their occurrence. For example, I would dug up old photos to process it into one picture in my inner world by painting, or I would fantasy whom I could be. When I play the one I could be, I find that this picture has, contemporaneity as well as the uniqueness which can't be reproduced. As an artist of figurative painting, I would like to retrieve a bit of the painting essence loss.
For the exact boundary of my creation, I don't have a definite answer for now, and it needs to be interpreted by all of you. My thinking is affected by a lot of factors which, I believe, also imply a certain period of my life. I do not want to make my life as hurry as many people, but only to retain my life and then try my best to record it. But I still fail to find myself at this time, which is exactly the reason why I have been continuously seeking and making a breakthrough in creation.
I live in my own world, and write my own autobiography. I have dedicated my whole life to painting, and wish I would be the person who conveys happiness and persists in painting when you are thinking of me.
- Chen Chengwei